Life Expectations

Someone once told me that I expect more out of life than life has to offer. I had to think about that comment for months on end to figure out if it really applied to me or not. I think for someone who is surface level with life, interactions, and religious views, can easily feel that way. However, for people on a deeper search in life, your experiences will differ. You can get as much out of life as you search for, and put in. It takes a lot of soul searching to figure out your true self. Once you have an understanding of YOU, you can choose what to discover, and what may not even matter to you. Your identity that was given to you was given to you for a purpose; Use your gifts and conquer the world, influence peoples lives, grow as a person. So, was his comment about me valid? I would say not. You can never expect too much if you are searching for a meaningful journey. Life has more to offer us than I realize sometimes. I can easily get caught up in my struggles and begin feeling as if I have no purpose, or I am experiencing more suffering than joy. Each stage of life will hold it's own hardships and blessings. Part of the journey is to find them! Don't choose to be surface level, dig deep and admire the life you live and LOVE.

Birthmarks

A mark for every breath you took, every blink, every sleepy yawn.

One for every time you sucked your thumb, waved hello, closed your eyes and slept in the most perfect darkness.

One for every time you had the hiccups. One for every dream you dreamed within me.

It isn't very pretty anymore. Some may even think it's ugly. That's OK.

It was your home. It held you until my arms could, and for that I will always find something beautiful in it.

- Birthmarks by Cassie Fox

I hope this peaceful poem is as enlightening for you as it was for me. Even the most beautiful process leaves a not so beautiful mark. But... It is. This opened my eyes to a different perspective. Our bodies are incredible. Be the woman you are meant to be. And be thankful for your mother.

Single Sided Relationships

I often times find myself thinking about the relationships in my life. Now, I'm not talking those crazy romantic relationships that either rock your world or leave you disgusted at the thought of becoming vulnerable again. Oh, the idea of love. But let's shift over to a different direction. Intimacy can be shared between friends and family members.  The definition of friendship includes an idea of being connected, whether it's it's by concepts, objects, or people. Sometimes it sure does suck that some people you're just stuck with and you have to learn how to love them. For who they are. Over and over again. Because at the end of the day, you share similar DNA. How exhausting.

Getting to the point where you actually let someone in and expose a piece of your precious, unique heart is a big step for one who tends to not let anyone see who really lies beneath the surface. If you don't choose to let people in, you aren't really going to experience a true connection with the recipient. And chances are, the whole existence of the companionship won't be as rewarding. There are numerous shared whereabouts and moments that will impact you in such a way it will save your day. Or your week, if you are feeling alone. The environment we live in is pretty good at making life be as difficult as possible. 

So I'll catch myself wondering if my relationships are fulfilling...  how much importance are they adding to my life... Is this person worth it? What am I getting out of it? Because so many times I don't receive as much as I put in. Now, it's common to feel like you are putting more in than the person on the other side is, but there comes a time when you need to begin to distance yourself if that becomes the norm. Evaluating the entity of the relationship is the way to protect yourself from being wounded. For instance, a friend who likes to only call you up when they need a ride to work because their car was stolen... And their paycheck is depending on you to follow through with their last minute favor....Vroom vroom. *I'm such a good friend. This is really happening at 5:30 a.m.*

 Close the door on it because your self-worth is more important. Don't be used. It's exhausting to always be putting in the effort. Especially with family members because you can easily feel obligated. Blood can be thicker than water and sometimes you are that rock for someone who needs a shining light in their life. And it's harder to separate yourself from the unhealthy relationships when it's a family member. It takes a lot of rationalizing and several evaluations, but at the end of the day, it's in your hands. All of it. You know what is best for yourself, and self-worth and health are at the top of that list. Choosing to slowly separate yourself from people who make you feel like lesser of a person need to be at a distance. You are in control of your life and you don't have the time to be being held up all of the time when your trying to achieve your dreams. You are capable of being in healthy relationships. As many as you would like. Whether it's numerous friends you can rely on and you know they are real, or you may just have a hand full of close friends. Maybe a mixture of both. What's cool is It's in your hands. All of it.

Be You

Dance with your whole heart. 

Dance in the rain and under the moon or all alone in a room. 

Dance in the crowd as people walk around. 

Fulfill your dancing heart and be you.